Is being the observer the aim?

Is being the observer the aim?

Hi Rupert,

The other day I was listening to a discussion between a couple of non-duality teachers, and they were talking about seeing what is undeniable, as you and Francis both instruct. I began to look internally to see what I couldn’t deny, that there is existence, life, perception, senses, and I looked for the feeling of, again, what I couldn’t deny being.

Suddenly I felt life and being so strong, expanding. It felt ‘behind’, sort of, in relation to where ‘I’ normally resides in my body, if that makes any sense. It was such a wonderful feeling. I got up and made my breakfast, the entire time feeling this ‘being’ first as my primary mode. The actions happened, but they were less important than this being. I did a few other things that way until I sort of let go.

So to me it was like ego switched places with being. Is that what I have been aiming for? When I look back on it, I saw action happening but in a detached way, and I wonder now where ego was. I remember thinking ‘This is very trippy’, but there just seemed to be two things going on, being/watching and action by the body.

Thank you so much!
Claudia

 

Dear Claudia,

Yes, it is common, to begin with, to notice being ‘behind’ whatever it is we normally consider ourself to be. The reason for this is that we normally consider ourself to be the mind or body and at a certain stage we notice that these are, as it were, in front of us as objects of our attention.

As you say, we no longer locate ourself in or as the body but rather take our stand in being. The self sense drops out of the body and the mind and, as it were, goes back to itself, pure being, where it has in fact always been.

You say, ‘I wonder now where ego was’. Ego as it is commonly conceived is a thought (and subsequently a feeling) that mistakenly identifies this being that we are with the little cluster of sensations called the body. You are right to wonder where this ego, is because it is non-existent as such! It simply exists as the thought that imagines it to be such an entity.

So now, instead of there being two things – ‘I, the body-mind’ and ‘it’, the world – you have arrived at a situation where there are still two ‘things’ but this time it is ‘I, being’ and ‘it’, the body-mind-world.

The next stage is to abide as the being that you intimately and directly know yourself to be and to explore deeply (which simply means to contemplate) the experience of the body, mind and world from this placeless place of being.

As we do this it becomes obvious in an experiential way that there is no other substance to mind, body and world than being itself. In this way we come to know that there are not two things going on, a watcher and a watched, but just one substance, knowingbeing, which takes the shape of all things and yet always remains itself.

As knowingbeing, we know our self as peace and freedom. As the substance of all things, we know our self as love.

With love,
Rupert 

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